


In A Kingdom By The Sea

by bainel



Category: Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (TV 2018)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Past Lives, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Eve/Lilith ?? kind of ?? idk, F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-25
Updated: 2019-05-24
Packaged: 2020-01-31 16:14:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18594859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bainel/pseuds/bainel
Summary: "We had found each other, time and time again. In every life. At different stages in life. But we had found each other. Always."Or the one where Lilith and Zelda are soulmates and meet each other in every life they ever lived.





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> It took me embarrassingly long to write this one, so please enjoy it.  
> Comments and kudos make my miserable life a bit better!

_ Some people believe, that humans can live forever. No, not like that. No living creature is immortal, I’m afraid, though I’ve been living this life with the illusion of being immortal myself, for the longest of times. Believe me, it was a relief to discover I’m not. But people can live multiple lives, indeed, and humanity even came up with the appropriate term for this phenomenon. Reincarnation. I know, I know. Some people don’t believe it. And I’m sure, you don’t believe it either, after all, I know you a little. It’s not a part of your religion. But in my opinion, reincarnation is not a part of any religion. It’s just a natural thing that happens. People die and are reborn in a different body, in a different time, in a different place. It's a tale as old as time. I see, that you are skeptical about it. But I, myself, do believe, and I have a very strong reason to believe it. Why is that, you ask? Well, because I experienced it many, many, many times. _

_ It sounds ridiculous, I know. You may laugh. You may think I’m crazy. But as a witch, yourself, you should know, that there are things in this world, that can’t be explained with logic. Witches live longer than mortals. They can live for hundreds of years, but of course, you know that. Look at your relatives; how old are they? Where’s the logic in that? No human should be allowed to live for so long. I, being who I am in this life, live even longer than that. Hence my confusion about being immortal. But as I said, no living creature on this planet is immortal. Everyone and everything dies, eventually. I’ve seen it times and times again. _

_ Why am I telling you all of this? Well, to be honest with you, I’m not entirely sure. We’re here, we’re both bored, so why not, right? You may also be wondering, why you, specifically? Why would I tell you something so personal? And the answer to those particular questions is quite simple. You were there for a significant part of the story. You know those people and you know most of the events that took place. To be honest, some part of the story had started just because of you. Don’t make that face, I’m not accusing you of anything, my dear. I’m grateful, in fact. If it wasn’t for you, I might be still wandering the Earth, searching for her for eternity. _

_ Though you know bits and pieces of the story I’m about to tell you, still, you don’t know even half of the truth. And that’s why I’ve decided it’s about time you hear it all. So sit comfortably, and let me tell you everything. _

_ This story had started a very long time ago. Way before you were born. Thousands of years ago, to be quite frank. I have lived a thousand lives; ‘Thousand’ is a figure of speech here, I’m not sure how many lives, exactly, but let’s say that enough. _

_ As I already told you, reincarnation is real and I have experienced it many times. I remember my first life. I don’t know if I have lived a different life before that one, but I don’t recall anything before it, so for the sake of the story, let’s assume that it was my first one. _

_ It was also the very first time I had met her. _

_ I know you’re familiar with the term ‘soulmate’. One person, created specifically, for another person. Two halves of the same apple. A person, without whom you are not complete. There are too many different definitions of this word for me, to mention all of them. But you heard of it, I’m sure. And that’s exactly who she was to me. And who I was to her. We were meant for each other, as stupid as it sounds. _

_ We had found each other, time and time again. In every life. At different stages in life. But we had found each other. Always. _

_ Although I have never met anyone who would ever talk about experiencing anything similar, I'm sure there are others like us. After all, the idea of reincarnation and soulmates had to start somewhere. And I'm sure there are people who remember their past lives. I don't know if they remember all of them, but a few, for sure. As I have mentioned already, I remember every life I have ever lived. Every moment I have spent with her. _

_ And the first time I have ever laid my eyes on [...] _

***

It was a very hot summer, indeed. One of the hottest days he had ever experienced in his eighteen years of life on this planet. He sat on the grass, in the shade of a large oak tree, his back against its trunk, a poetry book in his hands. Despite the shade provided by the tree, and the light breeze roaming the garden, he was still sweating in his button-up cotton shirt.

The sun, high in the sky, was merciless to every living being. And yet, he did not find it unpleasant. It was quite the opposite. He had found the beauty in the garden, bathed in the sun. In the sunlight shimmering through the treetops. In the sound of buzzing bees in the background. In the birds chirping happily, sitting on the tree branches above his head. In the sound of the trickling water coming from many fountains placed around the garden. The ever-present beauty was enough to take his mind off the fact that it was so unbearably hot.

His eyes wandered around, leaving his poetry book forgotten in his hands. Even though, he knew that he was not alone in the garden, it was really easy to fall under such an illusion. The tree under which he decided to sit that day, was secluded enough to give him the impression he was all alone in this magical green world.

But there were always people walking around the green pathways. Some of them were workers; gardeners or handymen. The rest were either his father’s guests that seemed to never leave the mansion or the town’s citizens. Though, the latter did not come for walks around the garden very often. At least not since...

He looked around. He knew everything about this place. He knew every tree, every bush, every flower. Every bench, every fountain, every lantern. He knew how many lanterns there are, how many fountains. He knew that every fountain had something unique about it. He knew exactly how the statue of the cupid in the east wing of the garden has lost its arrow. He still has that scar above his left knee. He knew why it’s best not to sit on the swing right beside the entrance to the garden. And why there is a marble statue of a smiling woman, hidden right between those weeping willows in the west wing, so different from other statues that were made out of plain stone. Why his father comes there every night at sunset. And why he always leaves a  single white rose right beside it.

He knew all this because the garden was a part of the mansion he had lived in his whole life.

His mother had always loved this place. She would come to the garden for walks with his father and they would talk, laugh and make love under those weeping willows. That’s why there’s this marble statue. The woman made out of marble was his mother. It’s her statue.

His father had ordered every gardener to tend to the garden every day. He has always loved his mother very much, more than he had ever loved him. Even after her death.

He took a deep breath and turned his gaze back to his poetry book. He had always loved poetry. His mother would read her favorite poems to him. It has always calmed him down. Her tone, the melody of her words. Even though he was too young at the time to understand the meaning of the words she was reading, he could not get enough of it. And now when he was older, he had finally understood.

Oh, to feel all these things those great poets were feeling. To love so fully and unconditionally. To feel their pain of being filled with such overwhelming emotions that you feared they might spill out of you. Oh, what would he give to experience even a small part of those things?

He thought about Edgar Allan Poe. An American man. The man who wrote one of his favorite poems, ‘Annabel Lee’.

And he thought about said poem. What would it be like to love so strongly that not even death was going to stop it? He longed for a love so strong that even angels were envious of it. To be so beautifully ignorant to think no-one has ever experienced such feelings before.

Was this how his parents had felt? His father loved his mother even after her death. He came to her statue every night. Was this it? Has his father, the coldest man he had ever met, found what he, himself, has been longing for?

He thought about Annabel Lee, whoever she was.

To have an Annabel Lee in his own life. To have this one person that he could love and receive the same feeling back. To be blind to other people and have only her on his mind…

He was brutally brought back to reality from his thoughts by a female voice. It was humming some song unknown to him. He looked around, but there was no-one in sight. He frowned. Where was this sound coming from?

But the mystery was quickly resolved when a girl came into his line of view. The most beautiful girl… No, not beautiful. Such a mundane word did not cover her breathtaking presence. There wasn’t a word in any language he knew to describe her beauty. Her face, her fair skin, her long, reddish hair… She carried herself with grace and pride… Who was she?

He forgot he had to breathe. So he gulped air into his lungs as if he was drowning and was desperately trying to stay alive. And the girl was still there. She was still strolling through the garden right next to him. She also had a book in her delicate hands.

The girl had apparently felt someone watching her because… Oh, dear. She looked right at him. And he became painfully aware of how sweaty he is. Of the way, his damp shirt is clinging to his back. He could feel his cheeks getting red. Her eyes twinkled when she smiled, just the most delicate smile he had ever seen. She had smiled at him! And he felt his heart thumping in his chest, trying to get out and run into the girl’s arms.

And… Oh, Lord. She took a seat right there. There, on a bench opposite him.

***

_ [...] Did we ever talk about our past lives? We did. But it wasn’t until this life. This right here, in which you know me. I remember every second of that first talk. It was right after I had decided that it was about time to take my own life into my own hands. Before that, we did not acknowledge our past. Not ever. I don’t know why, to be honest. Maybe it was because we were both scared that it was all in our heads. That we were only imagining the whole situation. Maybe we were scared that the other person will think we’re insane. Or maybe it was because of something else, I don’t know. Sometimes I have left little hints to test the waters. Sometimes I was under the impression that she was leaving hints too. We were too stupid to address the subject properly though. But we did talk about it, eventually.  _

_ But let us not get sidetracked. Back to our story. _

_ After that time I had seen the most beautiful girl I have ever met, in my father’s garden, I forgot how to function as a human. I did not speak to her that day, I’m afraid. I just kept on sitting under that oak tree, watching her while she was reading her book on the bench. We exchanged a few more glances. She smiled at me a few more times, taking my breath away each time.  _

_ And that was it. _

_ A maiden had come to tell me that my father was expecting me in his study. And so, sadly, I had to move from my place under the tree. My father did not tolerate lateness, you see. He did not tolerate a lot of things when it came down to me, actually.  _

_ But because, as I’m sure you have noticed by now, I was a hopeless romantic back then - still am, but secretly, so don’t tell anyone or I will have to kill you - I came under that very same oak tree the next day, hoping against all odds, that the girl who took over my mind so quickly would show up again.  _

_ She hasn’t. _

_ Disappointing, isn’t it? _

_ I came under that same oak tree every day for a week. _

_ Every day, I woke up and I couldn’t stop thinking about her. Perhaps, she’ll show up today? Maybe I’ll go to the garden, find that bench, and she’ll be there? Or she’ll come by, later?  _

_ I would go, sit under that unfortunate tree, and pretend I was reading my book for hours on end. Waiting. Hoping I could see her just one more time. Just for a second. _

_ It was like a loop, and I couldn’t do anything to escape it. My emotions seemed to find a pattern to follow. Anxiety, anticipation, excitement, anxiety again, and finally disappointment. The next day everything had started all over again.. And the day after that, and the day after that, and the day… You know what I mean. It lasted a whole week. Oh, the pain it had caused me. Every day I went back to that damned tree and every day she wasn’t there. _

_ Until she was. _

_ The seventh day came around. I’m not gonna lie, I was discouraged by then. There was very little hope left in me. Yet, I went to the garden ‘one last time’, as I kept telling myself. _

_ Oh, you have no idea how happy - and shocked - I was to see her reading while sitting on that very same bench as the last time [...] _

***

One could say that the weather was perfect that day. Not one cloud in the sky. Sun shining brightly. Birds chirping happily, bees buzzing without any care in the world, lazy breath of wind going around the garden, and that one specific scent of fresh air lingering in his nostrils, warm rays of sun caressing his skin. A perfect summer day.

And yet chills were running up and down his spine, his back covered in cold sweat, breath caught up in his throat.

He stood there, rooted to the spot.

Was he dreaming?

Was this a hallucination?

Perhaps, he was feverish?

Confusion and happiness made him dizzy. Or maybe it was because of lack of sleep? After six full days of pointless hoping, thinking, sleepless nights, and coming back to the same spot… She was there. Sitting on the same bench as the last time, surrounded by the beautiful scenery taken out straight from a landscape painting.

And he stood there - stood there like a fool! - staring at her as if expecting her to disappear by the first time he’d dare to blink. As if he was certain that she was but a figment of his overheated imagination.

He looked at her, his eyes roaming her figure, noticing every little thing. The way her hair fell down her back. How the sun was reflecting in her reddish hair. How her dress hugged her body. How she bent a little over her book in her lap. How she crossed her ankles elegantly. How her eyelashes fluttered every time she blinked.

All of a sudden her eyes were on him and he felt trapped.

He had no idea what to do with himself. Should he turn around and flee? No, that was a stupid idea, even though a very tempting one. Perhaps he should say something? But what should he say? What should he do? Wha… But, before he could do anything, she spoke. 

“You're late,” she said, and he felt dumbfounded. What did she mean? Was she waiting for him?

“I'm-I’m sorry?”

“Yes, you should be,” there was a hint of a smile in the corner of her mouth.

“I…” he started, not knowing where exactly was he going with that sentence, too distracted by her smile, but she interrupted him.

“It's rude to keep a lady waiting, didn't you know?” So, she was waiting for him? But how was he supposed to know that? If he had known, he would run to her as fast as he could. 

“I wasn't aware…”

“Well, that explains everything, doesn’t it?” She laughed, raising her eyebrow, and at that moment it had dawned on him - she was making fun of him. He could feel the warmth of a blush spreading on his neck and pale cheeks. He stood in the same spot, not knowing what he should do. She was watching him, and he wanted to say something, but before he could even open his mouth, she spoke again. 

“Why don't you sit with me?” She pointed with her head towards the oak tree. “That patch of grass over there doesn't seem very comfortable.”

She scooted over to make him some room and looked at him expectantly.

His body moved on its own accord. One foot after the other, and he hadn’t even had time to start to panic; his mind was completely blank. And in the next second, he was right next to her. She gave him a pleased smile and turned her head towards her book.

Her face was even more beautiful from up close. He noticed that her nose was marked with a few freckles. Her skin was glowing in the sun. And her hair looked so soft. He felt the urge to run his fingers through it.

He blinked a few times. How long had they been sitting like that in silence?

He’s been staring again.

Why couldn’t he tear his eyes away from her? She probably thought he was being weird.

He should say something. Start a conversation with her. He wanted to hear her voice again, to hear that beautiful, melodic sound. So he thought hard about things he could say, but all his mind was providing him with were synonyms of the word ‘beautiful’. He opened his mouth, not knowing what he wanted to say, and all that came out was:

“My name is…” He wasn’t even surprised when she had interrupted him, yet again. 

“Oh, I know exactly what your name is.” She said, without looking up from her book. “This town isn't that big, after all, and your father is the most influential person around here.”

She was right, of course. Every man, woman, and child in town knew his father’s name. He was the mayor, after all.

Silence fell upon them once more. He sat there, at a loss of what to do. He wanted to talk to her so badly. He was imagining this moment for the whole week. Every time he dreamt of the day he would finally speak to her they were talking, laughing, telling each other secrets, and their heart’s desires. Never had it occurred to him that he would become a sweating, stuttering mess in her presence.

“I still don't know your name.” He said, breaking the silence once more. That was the only thing that came to his useless mind.

“No, you don't,” she said, simply, not even bothering to look up from her book. He felt frustrated. Was she being difficult on purpose? A tinge of anger started to rise in his belly.

“Aren't you going to introduce yourself, ma'am?” He asked, a little bit too harshly, but she was being so difficult to talk to that he couldn’t help himself. “For someone so focused on the rudeness of others, you're being quite rude yourself right now.”

“Am I? How so?” she asked, finally looking up at him. Right now, he wished she hadn’t had done that because he got distracted with her eyes. They were a light shade of a color that was hard to name at a first glance. Green, perhaps. Some might say her eyes were almost greyish. 

“You're refusing to introduce yourself and…”

“That's not true,” the woman interrupted him, “You haven't asked me properly.”

“ _ And _ you're interrupting me all the time,” he continued as if he hadn’t heard her. The corners of her mouth turned slightly upward.

“That's fair,” she said, turning her eyes back to her book.

“Aren't you going to apologize?”

“Aren't you going to ask for my name?”

“What's your name?” He asked immediately. She pursed her lips, trying - and failing - to hide her smile.

“Rose.”

“Victor.” They shook hands. She had a really soft and warm hand, and it fitted so nicely against his own.

“I apologize for interrupting you, Victor,” she said, “May I have my hand back?”

He looked down and came to the realization that he was still holding her hand in his own. He let go immediately, trying his best not to blush, but he could tell by her smirk, that he was red in the face.

She returned to reading her book and he was trying his best not to stare at her. He looked at the tree in front of the bench. The very same tree he had been sitting under for the past six days. And he thought about how he spent those days, hoping he would see her again and how now she was right there beside him. It made him think about what she said when she saw him, ‘you’re late’. Was she waiting for him? Why did she say that?

“Why?” he asked out loud, following his own train of thoughts.

“What was that?” she looked up from his book again, her brows knitted together.

“Why did you say I was late?” he clarified.

“I don’t know. You stood there and seemed a little bit overwhelmed by seeing me, so I thought why not to engage in a pleasant conversation?”

“Shall we start the ‘pleasant conversation’ now or...?” his voice was dripping with sarcasm. The corners of her mouth twitched and she turned her eyes back to the book in her lap.

He desperately wanted her full attention back for himself. He tried to come up with something to say. Ask a question she would have no choice but to answer. 

“So, why are you here?”

“It’s nice weather, I fancied sitting on a bench with my book,” she said without looking up at him, “And I’m waiting for my fiancé.”

“Your fiancé?” He felt as if she had slapped him across the face.

_ A fiancé _ . She was engaged. His mind was racing. Of course, she was engaged. A woman like that couldn’t possibly be … He did not want to think about that. He pushed those thoughts away from himself. Instead of dwelling on that little piece of information, he tried to focus on something else. His eyes fell on the book in her lap that she had been so focused on. 

“What are you reading?”

“A novel.”

“What about?” He tried really hard not to grit his teeth. Why was it, that she had to be so difficult to talk to?

“Love at first sight. Rather dreadful, really,” she said with a deep sigh.

“Don’t you believe in love at first sight?”

“I don’t believe in love,” she clarified.

“Yet you’re engaged. How does that work?” She sighed again and rolled her eyes closing her book and turning to fully face him. It was clear to him that he was annoying her and he couldn’t help but grin.

“What were you reading?” Rose asked, changing the subject, all of a sudden. She pointed to the oak tree with her head. “Last week, under that tree over there?”

“Poetry,” he replied immediately. 

“Do you like poetry?”

“I do,” Victor nodded.

“And do you believe in everything those poets write about?” He did not expect that question.

“I…,” but she didn’t wait for him to finish his sentence.

“How can we believe in the existence of things we’ve never experienced before? These are just books. Not reality.”

“Have you never been in love then?” Victor felt confused. How could she be engaged if she did not love her partner? “Don’t you love your fiancé?”

“I am…,” she hesitated, “fond of him.”

“You’re fond of him?” Victor chuckled and couldn’t keep the sarcasm out of his voice. “He must be thrilled. Such heated emotion just for him.”

“What about you?” she shot him an annoyed look. “Don’t you have someone to be fond of?”

“Not really, no.”

She looked at him. For some reason, he felt uncomfortable, being watched so closely by her green eyes. Weird, he wanted her attention so badly when she was not paying any, and now, when she was watching him, he wished she wasn’t. It felt as if she was looking for something in his face. Victor had no idea what was she looking for, or if she found it or not, but after what felt like an eternity, she looked away.

“Consider yourself lucky then.” He thought he could hear the bitterness in her voice.

“Why?”

“Because this engagement is more of a business arrangement,” she said, “There are no ‘heated emotions’, as you had called them,” she looked at him again, sending him a small smile, “I don’t recommend marriage out of necessity to anyone.”

“Why is it a…” But at that precise moment, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a tall man standing a few meters away from them. He was handsome, Victor could tell. Dark hair, mustache, sharp cheekbones, and a strong jaw. Wearing a three-piece suit. He was watching them.

Rose followed Victor’s eyes and froze for a second.

“My darling,” the man said, looking at Rose, as if expecting her, to run to him immediately. There was no warmth in his eyes.

The girl turned back to look at him. He didn’t like the look on her face. There was something… He couldn’t quite put his finger on it, but he had the impression that she grew sad all of a sudden.

She sent him a small smile and said quietly,

“I’m sure we’ll meet again.”

***

_ [...] and left. _

_ The next life we met… What? You want to know what happened in that one? Well, uhh... Okay, okay. I wanted to spare you the unpleasant parts of the story, but since you’re insisting, I suppose… Alright.  _

_ I know, I told you we had had always found each other, and I’m not saying that that was a lie - we did - but I suppose you’ve been imagining there was always a happy ending for every story. I’m sorry for misleading you. _

_ So, as you already know, she was engaged. A ‘business arrangement’, as she had called it, a ‘necessity’. I did not understand what she had meant. It seemed bizarre to me that a marriage could be an arrangement… _

_ “I’m sure we’ll meet again,” she said. And we have met again, indeed. _

_ It wasn’t until two weeks after that lovely, hot summer day, when I saw her sitting on a bench in my father’s garden, that we met again. _

_ Again in the same spot, sitting on a bench. We talked, laughed, bickered. And we made quite a habit of those meetings. We grew to like each other. We became friends and after some time… Lovers. _

_ It all happened so suddenly. _

_ One second we were laughing about one thing or another and the next thing I knew she was kissing me. And before I knew what exactly was happening we were under the weeping willows. We made love hidden from the whole world. And it was glorious. Oh, so glorious...   _

“Ew! Gross. Remember, we’re still talking about my aunt.”

_ Yes! Right. Sorry about that. _

_ As I was saying, we turned into lovers. It had lasted some time, but as I already told you, there’s no happy ending for this story. It can be a happy beginning or a happy middle but an ending is never happy. A story with a happy ending is a story that’s not finished yet. _

_ We did not live happily ever after. _

_ In fact, that was the first time she broke my heart. _

_ It wasn’t the last time, either. _

_ You already know, she was engaged. And the fact that she was having an affair with me did not change that. It was all fun and games for some time, but when her fiancé found out about us… He was furious, to say the least. I will spare you the unpleasant details of his anger. How he - forgive me the foul language - beat the shit out of her. How he had sent his chums to deal with me. _

_ It all ended up with Howard - because that was the name of her fiancé - moving out to who knows where taking Rose with him. The heartbreaking part of it all is, she had a choice. And she had chosen him. She told me that herself, the night before they left. After all, he had done to her.  _

_ As I said, she broke my heart. _

_ But it’s not like I’ve never broken her heart, don't get me wrong. To be honest with you, I think I have done that a lot more, and far more cruelly, that she has. I have literally killed [...] _

***

His problem wasn’t that he wasn’t happy with his life. He wasn’t - that much was true. But in his defense, no slave has ever been happy with their life. His problem was that he was looking at the man in front of him, and at the moment their eyes met for the first time, he knew. He did not know how exactly he knew. He just did. Images and something that could be only described as someone else’s memories were flooding his mind. But those were his own memories, he was certain. Only everything was different.

Different time. 

Different person.

Different life.

It had to be. Because in this life he was a slave; a gladiator. He was sold as a young boy to go and train; to become a warrior who would entertain Ceasar and the people of Rome, with his own death. Fighting for his own life, killing both strangers and friends, who all wanted the same as he did. Freedom.

The only thing that was the same as the images in his head, were the eyes of the man standing in front of him. Those light, green eyes; eyes, that were looking at him with a mixture of confusion and understanding, at the same time. 

Suddenly everything became too much for him. The unforgiving sun, trying to fry them alive. All of the faces of the crowd around them became blurred. Their screams became one collective noise that buzzed at the back of his head. All that mattered at that moment was that he was standing in front of a man. A man who, at the moment, looked like struck by lightning. He was sure he had the same look on his own face. How could it be? Was it possible that they had met before? In a different life?

Unfortunately, it wasn’t time to think about it.

He couldn’t breathe.

He took one, two steps forward.

It was almost over in less than a few minutes, even though to him it felt like hours. His sword, his hands, and his body were now covered with sweat, blood, and gore. The man’s and his own. 

He was trembling, though he hadn’t had realized that at first. His hold on his sword slackened. Only when he looked at the man, now kneeling in front of him, had he seen the reflection of his own exhaustion, agonizing pain, and misery, in the man’s bloody face. 

The crowd was chanting, but he couldn’t understand. His senses were dulled by the pain of his own injuries and his broken heart.

He looked up, his eyes fixed upon a man standing at the center of the loge seating, amongst the rest of the aristocracy. He waited, heart, thumping loudly in his ears. He waited for Ceasar to give him a sign. And he got it. The man in a white toga held up his right hand and turned it with his thumb pointing downwards.

His heart sank.

He looked at the other man at his feet; looked into those green eyes; the man nodded slightly as if to encourage him; as if he had already agreed with his fate.

“Do it,” the man whispered, and his voice almost got lost in the noise surrounding them. 

“I’m so sorry,” he muttered, barely audible for the other man to hear.

Life has a way to laugh into people’s faces, he mused, as he tightened his grip on the sword.

***

_ [...] It was not the last time I had her blood on my hands. Fate has a foul sense of humor, let me tell you. It brought us together times and times again, only to tear us apart, one way or another. We were gladiators in that life in Rome, a Jew and a Nazi in another life in Poland, two knights in a different life in England… I won’t tell you about every single life we had, because that would take us forever. _

_ I lived a thousand lives. Yet, I haven’t lived a more bizarre one than the one I’m living in now. _

_ Lilith. That’s my name. _

_ The first woman. The first witch. _

_ On the sixth day of the creation of everything, I was brought up to life alongside my husband, Adam, by the False God. We were created with the same clay, created to be equal. We were to watch over the Earth, look after every living creature in the Garden. We were to live happily. And to some degree, we did. But as time passed… I’m sure you know at least tidbits of the story. You know that happiness and equality are not a part of this particular tale. _

_ The False God wants people to believe it was a woman who committed the first sin, by eating the Forbidden Fruit. While it is true that it was Eve who took the apple first, it's not true that it was the first sin. _

_ It was a man who committed the original sin. On the woman’s body. He took forcefully what I wouldn’t give willingly. _

_ And I ran. _

_ Away from Adam, away from the Garden, away from the False God. _

_ All alone, deep in despair, self-pity, and pain, roaming the land beyond the walls of Paradise. I’m not sure how long it had lasted. How long have I been walking around the desert, like a child in the dark? Months, it could be years, really. _

_ And then I met Him. _

_ A fallen angel. _

_ Lucifer. _

_ We were both outcasts. And suddenly I wasn’t roaming the world alone, for He was by my side. _

_ He was… Tender. Kind. Sweet, at first. He promised me He would make me His queen in exchange for my servitude. I agreed. Why wouldn’t I? It was a small price to pay for what he was offering, after all. _

_ And the very first thing he asked of me [...] _


	2. Part Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, hello!  
> Real quick, before we start, this chapter is for and inspired by my sweet, sweet friend @sweetdreamsaremadeoffish It's her birthday today and I decided to chug three cups of coffee, sit my ass down, and get this part done, even if it kills me, as her birthday present.  
> So, my dearest Ruby here's to you! I hope you'll like it.  
> Fair warning, it's Lilith x Eve chapter, but it's kinda relevant for the last part of this fic which will hopefully come out... soon-ish.  
> As per usual, all the typos/grammar mistakes are on me.

Coming back to the Garden wasn’t an enjoyable experience for her. Nor was it something she had ever expected to do. She had dreams, of course, dreams about coming back. Dreams about taking her revenge on Adam and God, but she knew that was just that. Dreams. She had never seriously considered coming back to that place in any circumstances. To be quite honest, it was the last thing she had wanted to do. All she desired was to get away as far as possible and to never come back.

Yet here she was, in the place, it all had started.

She despised every single tree, flower, fruit, creature, literally everything. She hated the place she had once called her home. She hated it for its beauty, so different from the one of Gehenna.

She tried to keep quiet as she moved through the grass, between the trees, and the flowers. Her heart pounded painfully in her chest.

She kept expecting to see Adam. Or God. She feared meeting them again. It was a silly fear, of course, because even if they were to meet, neither of them would be able to recognize her. She did not look like herself. She had changed her appearance, now she was just a mare serpent, just another creature, wandering through the Garden.

And yet, she couldn’t get rid of the memories from the last time she had been in that place. Adam’s betrayal. God’s indifference.

She shuddered. Those images kept haunting her, still, after all this time. But now was not the time to think about that. Lucifer had given her a mission to complete and she would accomplish it.

She saw her final destination in front of her, and in her head echoed God’s warnings, coming back to her from the past. Never eat from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. That was the only rule in the Garden. Or the only ‘official’ rule, she mused bitterly, because the second rule was ‘always submit to and obey Adam’.

Lilith realized she’s been staring at the Tree for several minutes without moving. Sighing, she continued her journey through the grass until she’d reached it. It looked magnificent. The same and yet so very different from other trees in the Garden. Lilith had the impression that its leaves were greener and its fruits riper. She was certain that if she were to eat the apple it would be sweeter than any other. But she wasn’t here to eat it, no. She was here to trick, to convince, and to push someone else to do it.

And so she pushed her upper body upwards and slithered on the Tree’s trunk. She barely had time to hide between the green leaves, when she heard someone’s footsteps.

A young, redheaded woman approached. 

***

_ “Wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute… Are you trying to tell me that that was…” _

_ “If you keep interrupting me, you’ll never know.” _

_ “Sorry. Please, continue.” _

***

Lilith watched her from between the branches and leaves.

The woman stared intensely at the Tree of Knowledge as if wishing for something to happen. She knew exactly what was happening inside that woman’s head. Poor thing, she wanted so badly to taste the fruit, yet God’s warnings were surely echoing in her ears, preventing her from reaching her hand and just taking it.

What a pathetic, weak soul.

So  _ this _ was who she had been replaced with?

She was cute, Lilith could give her that, looking almost angelic in the soft sunlight of everlasting summer, but still. She was only a poor, sad puppet of Adam. Created from his rib and because of that little detail, completely submissive to him. Something stirred in her belly when she wondered what would it be like if God had created  _ her _ with Adam’s rib. She shuddered and pushed the thought away. Now was not the time to feel sorry for this creature in front of her; now was the time to fulfill Lucifer’s orders.

“Looks good, doesn’t it?” Lilith said out loud, startling the woman. She slithered to the lower branches, so she could be on eye level with the girl. Eve’s eyes looked at Lilith with nothing but curiosity. The girl was so trusting, she could see, it would be easier than she had initially thought. “Why don’t you try it?”

“God forbid it,” she answered immediately and Lilith fought the urge to roll her eyes, which would be impossible for her anyway since she was trapped in a snake’s body. Eve stepped closer to the Tree. So sweet, so naive; Lilith almost felt bad.  _ Almost _ .

“He doesn’t have to know,” she said, smirking internally, “He’s not around, is he? It’s just you and me.” She didn’t know that; she just hoped that God and Adam were not around.

She watched as Eve took another few steps towards her, stepping even closer to the Tree. Eve’s eyes took in the sight of the green leaves and red apples. Lilith could see the yearning in the girl's warm, brown eyes. 

***

_ “Brown eyes? But I thought…” _

_ “Well, you were wrong then. It's called ‘a dramatic reveal’, darling, a part of every good tale. And now, could you stop interrupting me?” _

_ “But then, why are you even…” _

_ “ Please? ” _

_ “Sorry.” _

***

She knew that longing well enough, she had felt it too, once upon a time, when it was she, who had been staring at the Tree of Knowledge. The brown eyes shifted back to her.

“Who are you?” asked Eve, full of curiosity

“A snake,” she answered simply. 

“I’m Eve.”

“I know that, dear.” Lilith chuckled, even though she was far from being amused. She was irritated. She was not here to make friends with this girl, who took her place, she was here to make her eat that damned fruit and go back to Lucifer for his praise.

“What’s your name?” 

“Lilith.”

“Lilith?” her eyes sparkled with recognition, “Adam talks about you. I thought you were a woman?”

Her heart stopped for a second and started hammering in her chest with twice as much speed. Adam talked about her? For what? What would he have to tell about her? How bad of a wife she had had been to him? Pull yourself together, Lilith. It wasn’t the time to start panicking.

“I am, yes,” she said simply.

“But you’re a serpent now.”  _ Aren’t you the brightest _ , Lilith thought. She sighed and tried to calm herself down. She decided to tell the girl the truth. 

“My true form is not really welcome here,” she admitted. “I didn’t want God or Adam to see me.”

To her greatest astonishment, the girl had smiled at her and there was a new spark in her brown eyes. The sudden change in her demeanor threw her off.

“They don’t have to know, they’re not around, are they?” asked Eve with a tinge of laughter in her voice. She was mocking her and Lilith had to fight the urge to say something hurtful or to simply kill the girl on the spot. That wasn't the plan, though. The plan was to convince, not to dissuade. “It’s just you and me.”

Lilith was weighing her options for her next move. She could go along with it and reveal herself, risking being discovered by Adam or God. She also could say ‘no’ and continue trying to make Eve eat the apple.

She was itching towards revealing herself because, quite frankly, being a snake wasn't very comfortable. She was about to slither down the tree trunk, but at that exact moment, she had spotted another figure approaching.

“No, it’s not just you and me,” she muttered, barely audibly as there was now a great lump inside her throat, making it almost impossible for her to speak. She moved quickly further between the branches and leaves. Out of sight.

A man, far too familiar, was walking towards Eve, and the Tree, and Lilith, although he did not know that part. Lilith’s eyes followed his every move. Every confident step, rise, and fall of his chest, every flex of his muscles as he walked towards the Tree.

“Eve?”

Lilith closed her eyes at the sound of his voice. How long since the last time she heard it? Long enough to forget the details of that warm baritone, and the effects it once had on her.

Or maybe it still had some power over her?

Her heart ached for the things that were never true. For false love, she had once believed he offered her. She peeked from between the leaves to get just one more glimpse of him. Just one more look at her former husband. As her eyes fell on him yet again, she felt an odd, clenching feeling in her chest she couldn’t quite identify. Was it fear? Longing? Sorrow? After everything, he had done to her. After all the pain he had bestowed upon her.

She was still somewhat weak for him.

She felt pathetic.

Lilith shut her eyes once again to separate herself somewhat, at least a little bit, from the reality. She did not want to look. She did not want to see the man who had hurt her so badly and for whom, she realized, she still felt some kind of love.

“What are you doing here?” She heard Adam’s voice again and she opened her eyes to look at him once more, not being able to stop herself. His eyes traveled from Eve’s body to the Tree and back again. It didn’t take him too long to connect the dots. “God forbid eating from that tree.”

“I wasn’t eating from it. Just looking.” Although Lilith couldn’t see her face anymore, because Eve had her back turned to her, she could still hear the irritation in her voice. 

“Well, come along now.” He reached out his hand for her to grab it, exactly the same way he did to Lilith so many times before. Always expecting her to run to him, to come to him, to listen to him, to be obedient to him...

“But…” But Eve did not get to finish that sentence. There was anger painted on Adam’s beautiful face. He pressed his hand to his ribcage and his fingers sank deep into his own skin causing him to let out a pained groan. The same groan left Eve’s mouth at the same time.

“I said come,” growled Adam, and to Lilith’s astonishments, Eve followed him without much further argument.

Lilith’s eyes were wide open in shock, as she watched the pair walk away. She’d known about the magic behind using one’s rib to create another human being, she was the first witch, after all. But knowing about something and seeing it with her own two eyes… It was completely different.

It was terrifying.

***

After the incident with Adam’s little display of his superiority, Lilith had seen Eve a couple more times. She had stayed by the Tree, hoping the other woman would come back so she could try and persuade her to eat the apple. And each time she saw the redhaired woman, she did, indeed, tried to convince her, but Eve, however, proved to be harder to trick than she had initially thought.

She remembered about the mission given her by Lucifer, but even though she had tried to make Eve eat from the Tree of Knowledge every time she had seen her, she started to look forward to every moment she got to spend with the other woman.

To her greatest astonishment, Lilith started to like their little exchanges, their banter, their conversations. Her chest grew a bit warmer each time she got to spend some more hours with Eve.

She still did not show her true form, staying in the snake’s body. Eve had asked her about it countless times, but Lilith couldn’t find the one answer that would not reveal how scared she was to be discovered in the Garden by Adam or God. She didn’t want to appear weak in the other woman’s eyes.

They spent their days talking about the wonders of the world. Eve, she came to discover, was a greatly curious creature. She had asked Lilith about everything. She asked her to tell her stories. Tales of faraway lands, beyond the walls of the Garden. Of creatures living outside of Eden. Of mysteries of magic so different from the one she knew.

They often laid side by side between the countless flowers, gazing up to the starless sky. Sometimes Lilith would curl up in the crook of Eve’s neck, secretly seeking out her warmth, her softness, the faintest hint of the pulse beating beneath her skin. It was so different from what she was used to from Lucifer. While he could be tender at times, Eve was kind and offered her softness without expecting anything in return.

She tried to fight it. She tried to deny it. She tried to ignore it.

Yet every time she looked into those warm brown eyes she could feel a hard pull in her stomach, and a warmth filling her chest.

Lilith could feel herself freefalling helplessly into the depths of Eve’s tenderness.

And suddenly, one day everything had changed. Lucifer was growing impatient. He summoned Lilith to ask what was taking so long. What should be a one-hour-long mission had now lasted almost over a month. He dangled a promise of a throne over her head. Told her, it was within her hand’s reach, and yet she was stupid enough to postpone getting her award for some pathetic little creature. He was right, of course. What was one woman in the grand scheme of things? Were the throne and the crown of Hell not more important? Was it not the only thing she had desired more than anything?

She grew annoyed with herself. How could she ever allow one simple woman to blind her so much, she had lost the sight of what’s really important?

No, that could not last any longer.

And just like that, she knew what she had to do to make Eve eat that damned apple. Just as if she had known it from the very start. Perhaps she did, but she had simply been blinded by the need of spending more time with the woman.

She shed her snakeskin, intending to finish what she had been ordered to do. She didn’t need to wait long for her. Eve showed up just the same as she has any other time.

Lilith watched as the redhead approached her with the biggest, brightest of smiles she had ever seen on her face. She was positively glowing at the sight of Lilith’s true form. Her brown eyes took her in from head to toes, hungry for every inch of her body.

Lilith smirked, not being able to stop herself from wanting Eve to look at her this way forever. However, she couldn’t get distracted by her body and mind’s weaknesses. She had other things to do.

“Why don't you try it?” She asked in her velvety voice, jerking her head in the direction of the Tree behind her, her cold eyes never leaving Eve’s face. Eve smiled even wider, which shouldn’t be physically possible, and yet here they were.

“God forbid it, Lilith,” she said her, now almost automatic, response. Because, somehow, it became their routine. Lilith would ask the same question each time, and each time, Eve would respond with the same words. She wanted to smile at that so badly, yet she was determined this time. This time she would not get distracted.

“Aren’t you curious why?” This question seemed to take Eve aback. Lilith had never asked it. She would usually just drop the subject, but not today. Now she watched Eve’s brow furrow as she seemed to examine every inch of Lilith’s face. “I mean, if He didn’t want you to eat it, He could have put that tree somewhere else, right?” 

“Why do you insist so much that I eat it?” asked Eve suddenly and Lilith was caught off guard. She didn’t expect that particular question, even though she probably should have. Lilith had but a few seconds to decide on her next move, but still, the next thing she did wasn’t a completely conscious thought. She reduced the space between them to nothing and grabbed her hands, caressing them with her thumbs. Her eyes traveled from brown eyes to pink lips. She let go of one warm hand and brought up her own palm to cup the pale cheek. And the next second her brain seemed to shut off as her lips started working against Eve’s.

It felt… Strangely right.

At first, Eve was completely stiff, shocked by Lilith’s actions, but then, slowly, her lips started moving too. Lilith’s brain turned into a puddle, her heart hammered in her chest…  _ No!  _ She needed to focus. She moved away from the breathless redhead, brushing the red strands of hair tenderly with her fingers. She looked deeply in those brown eyes that were now darkened and wide opened, staring back at her with shock.

“Please, just eat it,” she whispered. “Just one bite is all I’m asking for.”

She watched in awe as Eve stepped away from her and walked closer to the Tree of Knowledge, turning her back on Lilith. She couldn’t see her face, but she was sure her eyes examined the Tree as if expecting it to stand in flames at any second. When nothing happened, however, she reached out her hand. Lilith could see that her hand was shaking slightly. There was a moment of hesitation, just a second, but Lilith had still noticed it.

And in the next moment, it was all over.

Eve’s fingers closed around a red apple, and Lilith held her breath looking closely. She waited with anticipation to see what would happen next.

And she took a bite and…

Nothing.

The earth did not shake. The sky did not part. The howling winds did not sweep them off the surface of the planet.

Absolutely nothing had happened.

She wasn’t sure, what she had been expecting to happen, but it certainly wasn’t that.

“And? Wasn’t that bad, was it?”

Eve turned around to face her and Lilith’s breath got stuck in her throat. There was a new gleam in those wide opened eyes. Something had changed. She looked as if she had just discovered the meaning of the universe. Well, maybe she has. 

“I have to share it with Adam!”

She watched as Eve run away with the bitten apple in her hand. The feeling of pride swelled in her as she thought about what will Lucifer say when he hears about her success. But underneath the pride, there was a small seed of disappointment starting to blossom in her heart. It was probably the last time she would ever see Eve. She wasn’t sure she was ready to let her go.

She was so absorbed in her own inner battles that she hadn’t noticed someone coming up behind her.

“Lilith.”

An unpleasant chill run down her spine at the sound of that familiar, strong voice. A block of ice dropped in her belly, as she realized who was standing right behind her. She could feel panic starting to build up in her chest and she fought it back with all her might. She forced a dazzling smile onto her lips before turning around to face him.

“God!” she exclaimed throwing her hands in the air as if she only now had recognized him. “Long time no see, my friend! How’s life?”

She tried to put on a brave face, she tried to appear confident and not scared at all.

She was Lilith. The First Woman. The First Witch. She did not fear anything and most importantly, she did not fear God.

Or at least those were the lies she told herself, because she at that moment, she was very much scared.

He must have heard what had happened already. After all, he always seemed to know everything about anything. As if to confirm her suspicions, he asked,

“You convinced her to eat it, didn’t you?”

The only response she could give him was a nod of her head. She was too taken with his appearance.

There was a funny thing about his image. No one who had ever seen him could later describe what did he looked like. One minute you were sure he had black hair, dark eyes, was tall and muscular, and the next minute you were convinced he looked completely different.

His voice brought her back from her thoughts.

“Why?”

“Curiosity got the best of me, I’m afraid,” she shrugged. She put on her cocky persona. It was her preferred way of dealing with hiding her true emotions. “To be honest, I just wanted to see what would happen. You were always so overprotective of this Tree, one would think we would drop dead the moment we touched it. But look at her, she looks much happier now.”

His eyes seemed to see right through her. She felt as if he was looking inside of her head, knowing exactly what was going on inside it. He looked saddened, tired, and much older than he appeared to be.

“He made you do it, didn’t he?” he asked in that sad voice, that made Lilith immediately feel guilty over nothing in particular. She didn’t respond to that question, however. She just stared back at him, trying to figure out how to look she doesn’t care at all.

She also tried to figure out how to hide the fact that her head was overflooding with unanswered questions. What was the reason for this conversation? What was the reason for putting that damned Tree in the plain sight, if he did not want people to eat from it? How did he know about Lucifer and her? It looked like her thoughts must have left her head, because he sighed,

“Oh, Lilith. There's always a reason. There is a reason I had banished him from Heaven. As there is a reason you run away from Paradise...”

“Paradise,” she snorted. She couldn’t help herself. “For Adam, maybe. For me, it was a nightmare.”

“A true nightmare is yet to come to you, Lilith. Lucifer will bring it to you.”

“You have no idea…”

“Oh, I do.” he interrupted her, and to some degree, somewhere deep down, in the darkest pits of her heart, she had believed him. “My point is, my child, the reason I had put that tree in the plain sight, within a hand's reach, is a choice.” Her brows furrowed. She did not understand, but he seemed to be aware of that, because he continued, “You have the right to choose whether you eat it or not. But at the same time, you have to understand, everything has a price. Not eating it, eating it. Obedience and disobedience...”

“You'll make them suffer for disobeying you?”

“They will make their own sufferings. As did you before them.”

“I don't understand.”

He sighed again, but this time he sounded irritated. He looked at her in the way that made her feel small. And she hated it. She hated him for making her feel like a worthless worm. And yet she listened to every word that had left his lips.

He put his warm, big hand on her back and jerked his head forward as if to say ‘let us walk’. She felt the pressure of his hand on her back and she could feel her body go tense. She was glad when he took away his hand, realizing his mistake.

They strolled through the Garden, walking around the paths Lilith knew so well once. They watched cows laying calmly in the grass, horses running lazily through the fields. They observed the life buzzing around Eden, and then God had spoken again.

“You could have stayed in the Garden.” he said “You chose to go, and it had already brought you suffering, didn’t it? Because you run away you had met the fallen angel. And because you had met him, he made you come here again, to do his bidding. Which you did; the consequences of that are yet to come, but I can tell you already, the path you had chosen is a winding and a painful one.”

It was quiet for a while. 

Over the hills in the distance, she could see dark clouds forming in the sky. That was unusual. There were to storms in the Garden. Those must have been the consequences. 

She could feel her anger and frustration starting to build up in her stomach and rising up to her chest. Soon enough it came harshly out of her mouth.

“I would have stayed if Adam hadn’t hurt me.”

God looked at her thoughtfully for a minute, examining her whole face. 

“What he did to you was also his choice. Everything happens for a reason,” he repeated.

“So there’s a reason for why he had hurt me?” She raised her voice. Lilith could not believe him. She should have expected that. She should have known that God would defend his precious, little Adam, at all costs.

There was a misery written all over his face. One would think he felt sorry for her. Lilith did not need his pity, though. She needed… Well, she didn’t know what she needed, but it wasn’t his pity.

“A reason that will remain unknown, I’m afraid. You are not supposed to know, believe me.”

“So what you’re really saying is that you don’t know,” she snorted, “Aren’t you supposed to be ‘omniscient’?” she asked with sarcasm dripping from every word.

“I am also supposed to be mysterious, remember?” there was a hint of a laugh in his voice.  _ Bastard _ , she thought. He smiled at her and started to walk away towards the coming storm. 

“Wait!” she shouted after him. He stopped and looked over his shoulder with that infuriating ‘all-knowing’ look on his face. “Why have you created all of this? Us? Why have you allowed it? If you knew it's all gonna go this way?”

“It will take some time, but I’m sure you’ll understand,” he grinned, “And to be completely honest, I'm excited to see how this is all going to end.”

_ What?  _ Lilith's head started to spin. It was all too much. But before she had another chance to question God, he had disappeared.

***

_ When Lucifer found out about what truly happened with me and Eve… Why it had taken me a whole month to persuade a simple woman to eat some apple…  _

_ His jealousy did not know any boundaries. He was furious. How dare I betray Him, He asked. After all that He had done for me. After He saved me; after He made me His right hand. How dare I? _

_ I hate to say it but The False God was right. _

_ Lucifer was the one who brought a true nightmare to my life. _

_ He killed her. _

_ He killed my sweet Eve. _

_ For the first time, He showed me who He really was. _

_ A monster. _

_ I was too taken with him to see it back then. Or I was too scared to realize…  _

_ You wanted to know why am I even telling you the story of Eve if it isn't in any way linked to your aunt. It is. Everything I tell you is tightly linked to your aunt. _

_ Because when I had fallen for Eve, and Lucifer found out about it, he showed his true colors for the first time. It was a big wake up call. I remembered this moment years later when I realized what my true feelings for a certain other redhead were. _

_ And it was the first time I truly understood who He was. I tried to run. After all, I already run away from one abuser; I surely could run away from yet another one, couldn’t I? _

_ Well, the answer is no. _

_ No, I couldn’t. _

_ He found me everywhere I went. He convinced me He had done all of that to protect me. He dangled the promise of the throne in front of my face, yet again. And I believed Him. I craved for His approval, for His love. His tenderness. _

_ How foolish of me. _

_ Throughout the years, He asked me to do His bidding. A quick spell here, a whisper in the ear of a ruler there. A few threats, a murder… It went on for a long time. Longer than I would like to admit. I knew who He was. I knew what He was capable of doing just to get what He wanted. But even though I knew all that, even though I experienced His brutality on my own skin, I had done everything He had asked me to do. And as time passed, I turned blind to His cruelty. _

_ I forgot. _

_ I lost myself. _

_ I became just like Him. _

_ A monster. _

_ And after who knows how long, I finally met someone who had helped me remember. Someone who had woken me up from this deep sleep. _

_ I met you. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you like it? Did you love it? Did it even make any sense?  
> Please, let me know. Kudos and comments make my miserable life a little better.  
> Also, come to say hi to me on tumblr!! @bainelland


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